New to Netflix: May 2013

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May’s new Netflix offerings include one of last year’s more surprising hits, some more offbeat films and a film that’s likely to only appeal to Moms and soon to be Moms.  The catalog titles are more diverse including John Woo’s take on an impossible mission, a Japanese Star Wars rip-off, a World War I horror film, two extremely odd musicals, Rodney Dangerfield coaching soccer, Katie Holmes escaping a cult, killer bee women, socially relevant break-dancing and much more.  May isn’t a standout month for Netflix but it’s definitely a fun month.

Listen to the May New the Netflix Podcast starring yours truly and Kevin Carr here or on Itunes.

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New Releases

The Cabin in the Woods – Five friends visit a mysterious cabin in the woods where terrible things begin to happen with horrifying consequences.  Joss Whedon and Drew Goddard c0-wrote this amusingly scary film co-starring Thor’s Chris Hemsworth.
John Dies at the End – A new street drug makes it possible for its users to travel through time, space, and through different dimensions. Unfortunately some users don’t comeback as human at all and with an alien invasion pending it’s up to two slackers to save the world. Its stars may be relative unknowns but it does co-star Paul Giamatti and Clancy Brown.
The Paperboy – Zac Efron, Nicole Kidman, Matthew McConaughey and John Cusack star in Lee Daniels followup to Precious. Two brothers investigate a capital murder case in their hometown with the aid of a mysterious woman.
Other: What to Expect When You’re ExpectingBad Kids Go to Hell

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Action

Defiance – Three Jewish brothers join the Russian resistance and fight a guerrilla war against the German military in the Belarussian forests to protect a 1,000 on the run Jews.  Edward Zwick (Glory, The Last Samurai) directs  Daniel Craig, Liev Schreiber and Jamie Bell in this decent WWII action film.
Mission: Impossible 2 – Only being mentioned because of what a horrendous mess the film is.  I really like the original, the third film has its merits including the franchise’s best villain, and Ghost Protocol is a lot fun as well but M:I-2 is down right terrible through and through.  I might have to rewatch again just to reconfirm how truly bad it is.
Beowulf – Robert Zemeckis’s epic uses CGI technology to bring the Old English poem of Beowulf to life.  Ray Winstone, Crispin Glover, Angelina Jolie, John Malkovich and Anthony Hopkins star.
Street People – Roger Moore and Stacey Keach star in this Italian action film shot in the heyday of Moore’s turn as James Bond.  There’s smuggling, nude foot massages, and crazy San Francisco car chases.
F/X – A Hollywood special effects artist is hired to fake a mob hit by the government but he soon finds his life is in danger.  Bryan Brown and Brian Dennehy star.
Other: Tomb RaiserJoyrideThe Three MusketeersAirportAirport 1975Airport ‘77

Sci-fi/Horror

Message From Space – Extremely cheesy and low budget Japanese Star Wars rip-off starring Vic Morrow (later killed in Twilight Zone: The Movie) and Sonny Chiba.  I recently watched the film and it’s absolutely bizarre; there’s space ships that look like pirate ships, glowing magical walnuts, Vic Morrow is a space general that dresses like a pimp and has a robot servant… completely bizarre.
Cherry 2000 – A businessman hires a tough female tracker (Melanie Griffith) to help him find a Cherry 2000, a rare robotic wife/sex doll to replace the defective model that short circuited when it got wet during a soapy sexcapade.  Together they must travel across an apocalyptic wasteland filled with deranged psychotics.
Deathwatch – WWI British soldiers and a German prisoner await reinforcements in a German trench.  Only they’re not alone, an evil force is with them.  Jamie Bell and Andy Serkis star.  It’s not a perfect film but it features an interesting cast and premise… how many World War I horror films can you think of?
New Year’s Evil – On New Year’s Eve a radio host gets a mysterious call stating that at the stroke of midnight a “Naughty Girl” will be murdered in each timezone.
Other: Murder by DecreeLeprechaun 2Ju-on: The GrudgeThey, The Manhattan Project, Madhouse, Child’s Play 2: Chucky’s Back

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Drama

Pulp Fiction – Everyone should already own this one but if you don’t it’s available again on Netflix.
Hoosiers – Gene Hackman, Barbara Hershey and Dennis Hopper star in one of the better sports movies ever made.  A coach with a troubled past moves to a small Indiana town and turns a losing team into potential champions in the early 1950s.
Tucker: The Man and His Dream – Francis Ford Coppola directs Jeff Bridges in the Preston Tucker biopic about the revolutionary car designer that challenged the automotive industry.
Other: Joyride (1997), The Red Violin, Igby Goes DownThe Man in the MoonThe Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys

Musicals

The Apple – In the ‘future’ of 1994 two aspiring musicians enter a music competition and get drawn into the darker side of the industry and must make some hard choices about their future.  This film features a lot of disco inspired music just so you’re aware.
Can’t Stop the Music – Another disco inspired musical, inspired by The Village People.  It holds the distinction of being the first Worst Picture Razzie winner.

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Comedy

Ladybugs – Rodney Dangerfield directs an in drag Jonathan Brandis to victory on an all girls soccer team.
License to Drive – 80′s cult favorite starring The Coreys (Haim & Feldman) has Haim on a late night adventure without his license to impress the girl of his dreams while trying not to destroy his grandfather’s prized Cadillac.
Zapped! – Scott Baio stars in the supernatural teen comedy that spoofs Carrie among other horror films.
Other: Broadway Danny Rose, The Dream Team, Heart and Souls

Thriller

Day Watch – A Russian film about a man that’s trying to find a device that will restore life to a destroyed Moscow while the force of light and dark fight all around him.
Disturbing Behavior – Katie Holmes tries to escape being brainwashed and surprisingly enough this film doesn’t have anything to do with Tom Cruise or Scientology.  James Marsden (X-Men) co-stars.
Masquerade – Rob Lowe, Meg Tilly and Kim Cattrall star in this 80′s thriller about an orphaned millionairess and those that are trying to take her fortune.  Lots of half naked Rob Lowe and Kim Cattrall titties.

Classic

Chinatown – Roman Polanski’s classic film noir classic starring Jack Nicholson and Faye Dunaway is routinely listed as one of the greatest films ever made.

Schlock

Orca: The Killer Whale – Richard Harris stars in this Jaws/Moby Dick ripoff about a hunter squaring off against a Killer Whale that is out for revenge for the death of its mate.
Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo – Local break dancers dance to stop the bulldozing of their recreation center.  Has the distinction of having one of the greatest movie titles of all time.
Invasion of the Bee Girls – Star Trek II/VI director Nicholas Meyer wrote this B-movie where Earth women begin killing men by oversexing with the goal of taking over the world.
Other: Nine Lives of Fritz the Cat

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Written by

Nicholas Herum

  • Yo Mamma

    Oh I see what you did there with your comment on “Can’t Stop the Music”… Its a gay joke.

    • http://www.movieshateyoutoo.com/ Nicholas Herum

      Great job picking up on that. The entire movie is a gay joke.