Entering the Netflix Stream: May 2012

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One of the biggest complaints you hear about Netflix Streaming is their lack of quality films.  To a certain extent I would agree with that sentiment but for whatever reason I don’t have as big of a problem with their lineup as some customers do.  Most of the films I watch on Netflix are more geared towards older catalog titles than new releases so that probably has a lot to do with my higher level of satisfaction.  For May however Netflix has added several new releases in addition to adding a large amount of interesting catalog titles.

New Releases

Killer Elite-  Definitely not a perfect film (read my review HERE) but there’s a lot of good action in this pseudo 80s movie.
Dont’ Be Afraid of the Dark-  Being produced and co-written by Guillermo del Toro didn’t save this horror film from being a disappointing mess.  Stars Katie Holmes and Guy Pearce.
Shark Night-  PG-13 film about seven college coeds being eaten by sharks?  Not for me, I prefer my coed shark bait movies to have a lot more nudity.
Griff the Invisible-  True Blood‘s Ryan Kwanten stars as a boring office worker during the day who spends his nights as a superhero.

Catalog Releases

Al Pacino Films-  May must be the unofficial “Pacino Month” at Netflix because four new films were added to the eight that were already available.  New for May:  Scent of a WomanSea of LoveDog Day Afternoon, and City Hall.

Alien Bust Set  

Action Films
Top Gun-  One of the ultimate guilty pleasure films of all time which is even more enjoyable now because of its homosexual tendencies.
Snatch-  What can you learn from Snatch?  Don’t trust Pikeys, sixteen pigs can eat 200 pounds of human flesh in about eight minutes, and if your dog eats everything in sight there may be a 86-carat diamond in their stomach.
Starship Troopers-  A bunch of beautiful kids (Casper Van Dien, Denise Richards, Dina Meyer, and Neil Patrick Harris) go off into space to kill giant bugs in this space age fascist classic directed by Paul Verhoeven.
Passenger 57-  The awesomeness of this film can be summed in one quick bit of dialogue.


Other Action Films:  Bubba Ho-Tep, Running Scared, Sneakers

Teen Films
The Karate Kid-  No, it’s not the Jackie Chan/Jaden Smith monstrosity but the original classic starring Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita, and the incredibly cute Elisabeth Shue.  Don’t forget to sweep the leg!
Private School-  Phoebe Cates doesn’t get naked strangely enough in this film but Betsy Russell rides a horse topless better than most girls I know.
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Cruel Intentions-  By no means a teen classic but it does feature one of the best girl-on-girl kisses ever captured on film complete with a lovely saliva strand bridging Sarah Michelle Gellar‘s lips to Selma Blair‘s.
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Other Teen Films:  Not Another Teen Movie, Joe Dirt

Children Film
The Addams Family-  Before Hollywood went crazy with film adaptations of old TV shows (looking at you Dark Shadows) The Addams Family was a bit of a surprise hit and introduced me to a future adolescent crush… Christina Ricci.
Mousehunt-  Pirates of the Caribbean director Gore Verbinski’s first feature film about  Nathan Lane and Lee Evans fighting a diabolical mouse who is keeping them selling their their late father’s mansion.
Other Kids Films:  The Wiz, Jumanji, Addams Family Values

Wolverine Legendary Scale Figure

 

 

Special WTF Film
Fireproof-  Kirk Cameron is trying to save the souls and marriages of the world by combating the evils of pornography by teaching “self control” aka beating your computer with a baseball bat in your backyard.  I cannot stress enough how amazingly awful this film truly is.

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Written by

Nicholas Herum